Michelle Obama, Mother of America has a nice ring to it.

Alright, I don’t love monarchies, but I say we turn the First Lady position into one and let Michelle have it until she wants to hand it over to Sasha or Malia.

Any parent who just hands their child to a stranger should be ashamed. That child did not want to be there. This is why sexual assault is such a big problem - children are repeatedly taught that they don’t get a choice in where/how/from whom they receive affection.

According to Scott Baio and other fuckwads,the postal service is destroying your mail in ballots

i love this one for being more on the nose.

Because Melania is dumber than a box of rocks and/or honestly doesn’t remember remeeting Natasha Stoynoff.

I would also like to submit:

It’s easy. Everything that is said about Hillary is completely true. Everything about Trump is completely false. Said by every single Trump supporter.

Also, special shoutout to Eichenwald at Newsweek for his work this election, with another great/horrifying piece of journalism on Trump, just this morning.

I love how much I am getting to use this GIF :)

Yea, but, you know, something something “the timing of these releases” etc, therefore we can’t trust these women, or something.

As I understand it from someone in the industry (I have no idea myself) People now has a reputation for an ironclad top-of-their-game legal department, who do very, very thorough cross-checks before anything is allowed to go to print.

Look this is just another stupid he said/she said she said she said she said she said she said she said.

Just email the author privately for such a small typo. It takes an extra second, but both you and the author can save face that way.

Who would have thought that People would not only be a source of legitimate journalism but would have an actual effect in this year’s election? 2016 is full of surprises.

That’s a super shitty idea.

There are levels to cheating though. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the worst cheater in history, Clinton would be a 2, Donald would be an 8.9.

Wait - we all agree he’s playing the “election rigged card” early so when he does lose he makes “Killary” look like a cheating woman... right?

Voldemort had a more defined policy platform.