Do you at least get before-and-afters?

Trent Dilfer won a Super Bowl. So did Brad Johnson, Joe Theismann, Nick Foles, and Jeff Hostetler. If you want to make the case that Eli Manning was twice as good as any of them, I’m right there with you. If you want to argue that two rings makes Eli a Hall of Famer, we're gonna have words.

My favorite Gregg Williams factoid will forever be that he got the Bills head coaching job over Marvin Lewis because Williams came into the interview with a binder and Lewis was still tired from celebrating winning the Super Bowl with the Ravens.

I’m a big fan of both Warren and Sanders, and each is a little better than the other in some respects. Ultimately, the deciding factor for my vote is actuarial: Sanders has lived 102% of his life expectancy, while Warren has lived 85% of hers. Neither are spring chickens, but Warren has a better chance of living out…

I read the headline and was immediately hoping Mort had tweeted about pro wrestling groupies.

Wait, why is Newton informing the team about his injury? Isn’t it, like, the team’s job to know about this shit? I know they don’t actually care, and they’re more than happy to load somebody up on horse meth if it lets them play five more downs, but they should still be the first to know, right?

Omelet secret: separate skillets for the eggs and the fillings.

Somehow, the Patriots will land him for a sixth-round pick and some used denture cream.

We can (and should!) root for the Dolphins to go 0-16, but let’s not get our hopes up. They have two games against the Jets, two against the Bills (who, let’s face it, are the Bills), and one each against the Deadskins, the rotting corpse of the Giants, the “Do we still have Marvin Lewis’s number?” Bengals, the…

Here’s my whole thing: We desperately need leadership that will make things better. Not making things terrible quite as quickly or enthusiastically as Trump isn’t enough to get my vote. Roughly half of the electorate thinks Trump is a good choice. If half of the other half thinks Biden is a good choice, then that…

Democrats of Delaware: primary this motherfucker.

Maybe his conversion therapy buddies can pray him back onto the field sooner.

You’re giving him way too much credit. I don’t think he spelled “libel” wrong; I think he thought “liable” was the word. I can't imagine being the poor underling who had to not only correct him, but also try to teach him a new word.

This pisses me off to no end. Public officials should be spending approximately 0.00% of their energy on vaping. There are so many more serious health issues, from guns to nutrition to housing to healthcare, that they should be focused on. If someone wants to suck on a USB tea kettle, who gives a shit.

FWIW, I always thought it was "lede", and I haven't been formally affiliated with journalism since I worked on the junior high newspaper in eighth grade.

Looks like it wasn't in bounds.

That's some phenomenally terrible tackling.

I need to know who Steve King was rooting for before I know how to feel about this.

To be fair, how would you be able to tell if Gronk had a brain disease or not? Baseline with that dude is pretty fucking low.

That play died faster than a dehydrated lineman.