Yeah, but if Secretariat had taken up soccer, that record would be so far out of reach that no one would ever touch it.

One of the great myths of America is that New England isn’t that racist. Once you can’t smell the sea, you’re basically in Georgia. There are a few enclaves of sanity here and there, but by and large, it's Deliverance with mispronounced R's.

One is only left to wonder what our Fort Sumter is going to be.

Yeah, Partner (adultery) needs to be number one. Duh. But let’s switch parents (adultery) with parents (together) while we’re at it. At least with adultery, you don’t have to hear both parents fucking.

Somebody get me that “they had me in the first half” meme, STAT.

Does it really matter, though? Trump and his ilk are so far over the line that there isn’t really a difference between what they’re saying now and literally dropping n-bombs. When and if (and it’s when, not if) they do start using (even more) vulgar language, those who profess to be horrified by Trump will... continue…

[Pelosi] may be using a different battle tactic than you’d prefer

I have to admit, Lifehacker is getting more sophisticated with its clickbait. For a while, I knew better than to click through on something teasing actual advice but instead just rewording the problem a dozen times. But now I find myself back in this suckhole of infinitely regressing tedium. So, kudos, I guess.

Late to this party, I know, but maybe someone will stumble across this at some point...

1. Having the person you went to the game with return from the concession stand with a beer for you even though you said you didn't need anything.

Shh! Don’t dissuade them! We’re almost guaranteed to be rid of like a million dumbasses.

Seriously. This needs to come with a “not a dipshit, just a nerd” tag.

Hopefully a bar of soap was part of his severance package. I feel bad for whomever finds themselves fifty feet downwind of him.

Said it before, will say it again: it’s not politics, it’s morality. If the greatest controversy around Donald Trump were, say, his position on revising the tax code, or even something as volatile as abortion rights, then fine, the PGA could say “whoa, we stay out of politics.” But it’s so much worse than that. It’s…

Tony Casillas is still trying to figure out which way Barry went.

Sorry, I was going to comment sooner, but I kept accidentally clicking on Kinja Deals stories.

Only if it comes with Orson Welles’ voice.

I had that, and I never did successfully transform it.

Nothing’s more terrifying than seeing these words come across the screen:

Is it really cheap to be outraged about $8 for beverages? Yep.