So the 2020 general election is going to be between a handsy septuagenarian who has neither the intellect nor the will to even acknowledge the existential problems of the day let alone address them, and Donald Trump. Fuck everything.

Shame, I was looking forward to Wilder exposing Joshua as the clownfraud he is. But I guess this works too.

Probably some small Caribbean nation. Or maybe somewhere in Europe. Possibly Africa. Depends where the kids want to go to college.

To be frank, it’s hard to give a shit about these things anymore. Another day, another mass shooting. Welcome to America. Nothing is going to be done about it, of course, because roughly half of this stupid fucking country thinks this is a perfectly acceptable state of affairs. All I can do is hope I’m able to get my…

Not dirty at all. As a player, you have to be cognizant of where the player you’re trying to hit is, especially in relation to the boards, so it was definitely the right call to give Sundqvist two minutes for boarding. But one would be really hard pressed to say there was an intent to injure here.

Two minutes for boarding is exactly the right call here. Sundqvist didn’t raise an elbow, didn’t cross-check, didn’t go head-hunting. The result of the play absolutely sucks, obviously, but there doesn’t appear to be any malicious intent here.

I didn’t think my opinion of Business Insider—aka Clickbaitatron 5000—could get any lower, but here we are.

“Hard seltzer” is a thing I did not know existed until I read this.

They may not have gotten the appearance right, but the talent is a remarkable facsimile.

Mississippi is stupid

No, it’s not about making a compelling case for conviction, or dividing the country, or anything like that. It’s really much simpler. Impeachment would require Nancy Pelosi to actually do something meaningful, and that is entirely antithetical to her being.

That “Let’s Go Blues” chant ringing through the Garden as Bruins fans sullenly skulk for the exits warms the cockles of my cold, black heart.

Hey man, hockey’s great. Think of the Bruins as the really nasty shit you take the morning after a really rich dinner and a few too many cocktails.

You just gave Billy Haisley an aneurysm somewhere.

Meh. Aren’t all sports leagues, trophies, championships, et al ultimately meaningless? We’re all just playing out little dramas of our own imagining as our speck of rock tumbles around the universe. If some soccer clubs want to invent a new shiny bauble to bandy around, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*Hans Moleman voice* I shop on Costco.com.

So if the green skin and sprouts make it bitter, and refrigerating a potato makes it sweet, what happens if you refrigerate a sprouted potato? Does it just cancel itself out? Someone try this. SCIENCE DEMANDS IT.

Until and unless someone’s arm literally detaches during the throw, 50 Cent’s first pitch to Mars via the Queensboro Bridge will forever be the worst.

Mike Mayock is hell-bent on taking every atom of goodwill he spent years accumulating as the anti-Kiper and throwing them all away, isn't he...

Those Olympic previews were the best. There is a sharp correlation between my complete decline of interest in the Olympics and the end of my Sports Illustrated subscription.