I bet you the piranhas don't eat his face.

If it counts for anything, I have Amazon Prime.

I used to think Rovell was just an annoying nuisance, but now I hate the guy. I can't believe he'd use Mandela as a radiation shield.

Holy shit, this is a fucking amazing joke. I can't wait to have someone explain why it's still hilariously funny.

Stuffing from inside the bird is far more flavorful and moist. However, it is true that the turkey juices that make it wonderful can be toxic if they are not cooked to a high enough temperature, and that cooking the stuffing to, say, 145 degrees will mean that your turkey is overcooked and dry as an old nun's…

He is?

Coach K will never run out of clouds to yell at.

This is where the coke goes.

Reminds me of the scene from The Simpsons, where Mr. Burns speaks to the Springfield Atoms football team before the game:
Mr. Burns: "Men, there’s a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you."
Cutaway to hospital.....
Milhouse: "I hope…

BOOM! Roasted.

Isn't there a stipulation in all Cleveland contracts that you spend time contemplating retirement?

Good points. I just have one question.

Iberian pensisula? Who's the smart guy now? Spain and Portugal are not anywhere near Iberia. Iberia is the island next to England! It's where leprechauns, Guinness and Scotch are from.

I can't really point fingers. It's easy to confuse Spain with Portugal. You know, tucked away all the way up there.

People like you are unbearable.

Wow, he's a regular Bearishnikov.

You spelled Tard incorrectly.

He's a 32-year-old college dropout who has the maturity of 13-year-old middle school twat who gets his rocks off by prank calling old widows. To date, Tarr's greatest prank has been to get Deadspin to post an article about his assholish immaturity.

I dunno. This is kind of up there with the two comedians that stole the Pro Bowl Jersey's from Mike Vanderjagt's bar. The guy's just basically being a dick. Not too amusing.