@Ol' Leather Pumpkin: Only until I got to the first sentence.

Based on that picture, the saddest part of last night is that Bob Barker tricked everyone into thinking he was Buzz Aldrin.

The best part was the judge who told Erin he wanted to see more of her. Someone should let him know he doesn't have to wait for her to dance again.

Pilot: Press box, this is Ghostrider requesting a flyby.

An honorable mention should also go to Robert Morris, who according to Bill Raftery, only lost on the scoreboard. So, they're winners too. Except on the scoreboard.

Professor Drake will rot in hell for eternity with every other law professor that has assigned a 24-hour take-home exam.

To be fair, I'm sure that's what was on his teleprompter.

@DirkToberFest: +1. I guess my "all other Persons" reference was too obscure (or, just as likely, not funny).

@Hit Bull Win Steak: +34 little bits of Clif Bar on my monitor.

It's said that a good compromise leaves everyone angry.

The sheep are terrified, as are quite often the children, forced to play "Daddy's Little Man."

Landowners were worried by the amount of damage done by people climbing over fences and that sort of thing.

Girls prefer dry guys

Image Caption: Coach Natalie Randolph gives her players a puzzled look when they try to explain to her that a chop block is not a kitchen accessory.

Word is she picked Coolidge because she liked the color of their uniforms.

@Donnie_Iris: And I will withhold my joke about putting 8 men in the box.

@MarkKelsosMigraine: +1

"Player X is absolutely, unequivocally the most pusillanimous, timorous coward in the NBA. He should be ashamed, embarrassed and humiliated for making an anonymous, nameless, unidentified and secret statement like that. In conclusion, if you can think of any other synonyms I can include in those previous sentences I…

You're getting too flashy.

@tim_lincecum_dumpster: +1