DICK VAN DYKE'S JAGUAR BURST INTO FLAMES BUT IT'S OKAY HE ESCAPED

We need a 7-day-a-week Daily Show. 4 days of Jon, 3 of John. BOOM.

I take solace in the fact that we now know for a fact that we have a worthy successor waiting to take over the host's chair when Stewart decides to hang it up.

NORMALLY HULK WOULD SAY "HULK SMASH" IN THIS INSTANCE, BUT THIS TIME IT SEEM TOO EASY FOR HULK.

Or like the time a dude came all up in my best friend's personal space and when she turned around he was like, "You're in my way. I'm trying to talk to your friend." SO HOT. I love when guys insult my friends. It's the best way to get in my pants because I'm a lady and that means I think other women are all my…

For your next dinner party, impress your guests with ipads for plates. If your screensaver is a picture of the meal; even better! Nothing is less calories than digital food.

Is the test easy to pass or something? I saw the trailer for this thing and it basically played out like Twilight but with a more interesting lead character.

Can I pick up your tangent and run with it? Because I'm a pinterest user, and I am SO OVER chevron patterns!

Google maps isn't ruining it... ;)

Be careful following those links. I first saw this next Tuesday, clicked, and now I'm back here.

The immortal words of George Harrison come to mind, "While my guitar gently weeps."

On seeing the Beeb's naked body so early in the morning:

This is exactly what I was coming here to say!

All the sibling shade-throwing might be justified.

Uh, America's Sweethearts role reversal here or WHAT?

The type of people who would buy this for their children make me sad for the future.

I'm really glad she filed a report. I have a mild-to-moderate fascination with Scientology, and it's crazy how often the assumption that this woman is either being held against her will or has been "disappeared" gets brought up in conversations around Scientology, but with no follow up at all. People play the Shelly…

That's a fair comparison to make!

Your hipsters look like teenage Russell Brands? Knox's man-friend looks like a hipster from around here (Greetings from Brooklyn!).