"... and a very selfless lover."

That's actually the hardest part to believe... that the wife would agree to it for a second.

It probably wouldn't give a fuck anyway...

You love how he's acting... right?

Play it safe: wear a condom.

Another thing to be thankful for.

Shit... I don't know what's worse... finger in the ass or catheter up the urethra...

yours?

... with a dash of The Matrix.

Fantastic anecdote, Mr. Evans. Must be one of the best ever.

Billy Joel and Springsteen do not suck. IMHO.

That's just nasty.

Is that shit for real?

Oh, now I get it... makes perfect sense.

At the same time?

Although "phony wins" also have a Je ne sais quoi... a somewhat undefinable quality to them; very much like porn.

I'm just gonna call bullshit on the 5 year part of your fable.

Oh, my bad... he does. http://www.slate.com/articles/sport…

...or knocked out his fiancee.

Thank you for this. It's magnificent.