I ran the Detroit half-marathon Sunday. There were tons of spectators, many with signs, so I saw lots of variations on “Run like Trump is Trying to Grab Your Pussy.” Seeing one around mile 12 did help put a little pep in my step.

I remember when he was saying “I have a very high IQ, one of the best!” and I wondered if anyone had bothered trying to tell him that the IQ scale does not stop at 100.

I’m honestly shocked he didn’t just split the difference and start calling him Uncle Ben.

“Get real. I’m made of steel. This is nothing. HI, GIRLS!” was my favorite line.

And all week I’ve been thinking, if you made Trump up, no-one would believe you.

Well, when Ivanka started to excercise her mind and competence his head did explode bc he couldn’t handle it and he divorced her FOR THAT REASON, so you’re right on.

When he said he was glad the rest of the GoP was abandoning him because now he was “unshackled,” I expressed some skepticism it was possible for him to go any further than he had already. Unlike Drumpf, I am man enough to admit when I’m wrong.

Nothing in our article has had the slightest effect on the reputation that Mr. Trump, through his own words and actions, has already created for himself.

Yesterday on twitter I saw a link to a Mother Jones article from over the summer which said that Donald Trump refused to allow (pay for) his campaign to run opposition research on him. Which ev.er.y campaign does. And they come up with ways to handle the results of that vetting so that they aren’t scrambling if that…

Yes, Donald Trump has serially sexually assaulted women and bragged about it. But Hillary Clinton HAS A VAGINA. Nothing Trump could do could be as shameful as that.

No, you’re right, it’s not a coincidence that these reports are coming 26 days before Election Day, Don. YOU’RE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.

“It’s so weird...they seem like tiny people right now, but in ten years they’ll just be objects!”

Oh look! It’s Vincent Adultman, heading off to a long day at the business factory!

Well to be fair, I think that advice has applications beyond Ivanka Trump’s personal experience. After all, we don’t all have to make ourselves attractive to work for our fathers. We can work for any man who owns a company and likes attractive women!

Maybe you’re an asshole?

FUCK OFF FARAGE

Why are those chairs covered? Does anyone actually expect them to get dusty between this morning and this evening?

The uncouth lout had been married for but a scant few months when the incident wherein he made untoward advanced at the woman who was spoken for occurred.

It’s harder when they’re pregnant.