So no one can ever complain about undesirable consequences inherent in overall positive choices?

Do it. Snow goes with practically every first name. And its a deliciously evil thing to do. You can’t lose.

How many times do we have to tell you that LSD and the internet don’t mix? Just go listen to Pink Floyd at the planetarium like normal people, jeez.

Also, velociraptors.

I mean, you gave birth to UNICORNS, so I doubt your pregnancies were a walk in the park

Wait, what? Am I reading wrong? I thought the adoption went through and she adopted her daughter...

I’m just giving you feedback to help you guys out. You either want it, or you don’t.

Bastille covering Miley Cyrus. I particularly like the last bit :)

For what it’s worth, a friend who has been to Lambert’s insists the rolls are so light that anyone who could injure someone with one “needs to professionally go into either baseball or murder.”

I’ll save the ushers the trouble. If I’m in a theater and you pull that crap anywhere near me, I WILL be all up in your grill. Chick seated on the other side of my companion decided to Webcheck during “Lestat” in SF...oh, yes I leaned over my friend and let he know if she didn’t stop she was about to die.

I spent the day alone in Lucca, it was incredible!

“She didn’t want Lilly to learn about black history,” he said, “She just wanted her to learn about the Confederacy.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with domestic violence, call the national domestic abuse hotline at 1-800-799-3224

I’m not sure how reiterating how tiny and petite you are and will DEFINITELY need a c section cuz you’re so tiny and petite is contributing to the discussion.

OR DINOSAURS

I recently got an implant. Does anyone need my old case?

yea, but, Kurt Russell was in Big Trouble in Little China.

That’s why I personally have stolen several babies!

I worked at a pizza place and one time a guy came in to order a pizza for delivery for his son’s birthday party. He gave us the address (which was actually the address of a frequent customer) and a card to give to the kid. Something about it felt really, really off to me so I called the customer after he left. It…

my grandparents have been married for 50 years but my memaw almost left my papaw in the late 60s because she found out he was gambling all of his money away. she got a job and started saving up to leave; he realized what she was doing and begged her to stay and quit her job, and said that he would quit gambling. she…