No, but seriously, a cup is not a sensible measure for things that aren’t liquid or powder. I’m totally cool with measuring flour and sugar and milk and whatnot in cups, but when it comes to something like chopped apples, I nope out.

The bincident!

Nooooooooooooooooooo! (I was actually just trying to say ‘No’ but autocorrect had strong views on the matter...)

“Requires a person or facility having possession of a miscarried or aborted fetus to ensure that the miscarried fetus or aborted fetus is preserved until final disposition occurs.”

There was definitely an old episode of Bones where Zack was basically told to smarten up if he wanted to get hired permanently, because no-one would take him seriously otherwise, or words to that effect; and he then did dress more professionally, got a haircut, and so on.

I seem to remember reading somewhere that Winston eventually became Dr Zeddemore (in a later game, maybe?) which makes me happy.

“Ray, for a moment, pretend that I don’t know anything about metallurgy, engineering, or physics, and just tell me what the hell is going on.”

So... how is this supposed to work for people who used donor sperm?

You mean you haven’t seen CSI: Flower Arranging yet? Non-stop thrills.

On the other side of the world, I watched it on news channels, and because they kept on showing it, it seemed to go on forever. A line of white, against blue, just falling. And then after a while I realised that wasn’t real, and the falling must have been finished a long time ago, but still they kept on showing it.

Not a man or a sender of unsolicited pictures of any part of my anatomy, but I’ve always thought the motivation has to do partly with men tending towards being aroused by visual stimuli, and assuming that women will be as well. In other words, they think we’ll be impressed and turned on, which I find hilarious.

So in the last few weeks I found out I was going to have another miscarriage, and then had to hang around waiting for it to happen (finally got going yesterday), and basically everything has been shit. And for some reason, even though I’ve never watched them before and have no interest in them whatsoever, my response…

“...he simply left the home Khloe, the youngest daughter of theFIRST ORDER, to move into the home of Blac Chyna...”

I wake up every morning to find that my cat’s got under the covers (always on my right side) and I’m hugging him. He properly loves his morning cuddle.

Really? I’ve always found her entertainingly bitchy. ‘Nice’, not so much.

I don’t think these are people who would care.

Evidently she got to keep being British and posh as part of the divorce settlement.

Yep, my immediate thought was ‘way to further alienate your son!'

I’m always really uncomfortable when I don’t have a reserve of fuck-you money (as I’ve always called it). It’s not that I’m particularly likely to use it; I just like knowing that I could.

The BBC didn’t make Black Mirror; Channel 4 did. (And now it’s going to Netflix.)