"at a party to celebrate both New Year's Eve and his 27th birthday"

+1 Large Marge

By the looks of it, Albert Haynesworth is the wurst would be a more appropriate headline, amirite?

They work, all right, but I don't know how any amount of money could make you feel like you've done something the alleviate the suffering they show. If I gave $50 or $100, I'd still get really bummed every time one of those commercials came on.

But they quickly let me go after I gave them the antidote to the Heavy Metal Poisoning they just drank.

I got Styx today - where/who the hell was Kilroy?

Are there an inordinate amount of super-depressing "save the animals" commercials on right now, or what?

Then, fittingly, an epitaph from the Book of GOB:

Pictured: Mullet and Gullet

"I dunno, your shit was kind of corny"

"This video isn't a total wash, however."

I don't think SIM cards are halal...

Fancy Coffee Maker DUAN,

So you're trying to tell me that a time-traveling degenerate gambler is all that's standing in the way between us and Bill Simmons not having a career and, what, I'm not supposed to be fucking furious?!

OB/GYN?

"But one still cannot help but Wonder."

"You can cheer for them even harder, and in the spring you can go with Pop-Pop to the annual meeting."

"He's taking the climb to raise awareness of teenage prostitution in Mumbai."

"But he says he was "kind of the Stephen Strasburg of his day," so there."

+1