Unless it happened on Halloween, whatever it was wouldn't have been as good as how Ohio State did it. That much I know.

And he would always spurn The Fish for a nice, young Country Joe.

"David Brooks Just Blamed The Penn State Riots On Woodstock"

In other words, CBS should have proceeded more gingerly?

Don't forget the "puts his hand over his mouth and then flashes a knowing smirk" at the end of any controversial statement.

By the "Daily Show" treatment, do you mean Jon Stewart leans in to the camera and starts speaking in a really high, almost cartoonish, voice, then leans back and speaks in a more serious and lower voice?

"This space is for you."

""There are many boys, hundreds of boys who had no objection to my methods and who are helped by being around me." I suggested, in response, "Well, yes, but what you're describing could be part of what is a classic M.O. of people who are child predators—which is that they win the trust and confidence of many.""

I didn't know they offered Feline Glamour Shots in the 1980s. Good to know.

You can't blame Ben Foster for getting duped, he just wanted a Dundee-al.

A video record of the last story.

Wow.

Diggin' deep for that one. Well done.

"Also, Berg, what the hell are you celebrating?"

Oh, so that's what "so was Red" from Shawshank was referring to.

These dogs should be ashamed; yelping at and spitting on veterans like that. Disgusting.

"Brought to you by the letter 'S', as in 'Stop Snitching.'"

Anything with pyrotechnics is totally, and completely, badass.

"Time always repeats itself, it will come back eventually. For instance, yesterday it was 1:00 PM and today it was 1:00 PM, too! Crazy, right?!"

"I'm outraged, incensed and, uhhh, what's that third one again?"