"...makes me want to benedict this chick right in the arnolds."

I'd rather live in Bratislava than Uniondale. I'm pretty sure most people would.

Dude, I had an appendectomy in late April, and I still live in fear of shitting myself, even months down the line. Just like Roker said, "you think you just need to pass a little gas..."

This is beautiful.

A well deserved +1.

That father's day club sounds fantastic. Would you allow an 18 year old to join? I promise I won't drink.

I'm sorry you had to go through this, Lindy.

Maine is next! Wooo!

Everyone there looks so happy. This is adorable.

So what is the "normal amount" of SOs any "healthy, young" woman might have? Is anything less or more than that supposed to be a symbol of derision?

Don't you understand? Asexual people are just unhealthy.

England has had a Queen other than Elizabeth II?

She's an extremist WASP, and you can't prove she doesn't have a penis.

This is what you have to look forward to if the GOP has their way.

Only because they targeted the wrong people. They target entire races, not those who deserve to die. We should eliminate the unintelligent, the rude, the mean, the hateful, the selfish, the greedy, the spoiled, the heartless and those who putrefy our culture and our nation. If you can't get behind that, you're part of…

"Thank you for turning off your cellphone."

Considering it's the one that has the lyric "hefty bag of love" or whatever the fuck, yeah, this completely invalidates his opinion.

You shut your whore mouth. Call me Maybe was fantastic.

As an unrepentant hipster who is also a closet pop music fan: