That's me. As I age, I realize that the only things I'll have going for me from here on out are dignity, good grooming, and a decent sense of color.

Is no one gonna give 30 Rock credit??

Mandatory second-language training.

Wait, wait, wait. All this crap about how Sochi is a hell-hole, and you mean to tell me that it's really the land of puppies?

I'm surprised at all the people who think this is such an awful idea. My dad died when I was 28 (no where near as young as some but he was only 55). Anyways, I would love to have reminders from him in the future. Maybe I'll be surprised someday.

When my son was born I made him a gmail account. I send him emails all the time. When he gets old I'll give him the password.....

I told my boyfriend to screw making Valentine's Day dinner reservations; I'm cooking some steak and roasted garlic mashed potatoes, cracking open the alcohol, and we are going to sit in our PJs and binge watch House of Cards for hours.

This is the most accurate poster for the show yet. Rich, white girls boring the shit out of me.

Needs more Blerta.

Everyone is bored out of their brains with Girls. Period.

12. CANADA: I Think We Should See Other People

...but I thought they were never, ever, ever getting back together

Kitchen Aid Stand mixer, $349, KitchenAid

CUDDLE ME!

THAT CANNOT BE HIS VOICE OMG

But who's really behind this post?

When I want my husband to kiss me before he goes somewhere, I tell him he has to pay the troll toll. So I guess that makes me a... ... pimp troll? I don't know. Shut up. We're adorable.

Hooray! Now I'm trendy instead of just lazy.

try Eataly!

I love this woman so very much.