Can we knock it off with this “friend zone” crap? If you want to date someone and they don’t want to date you and you don’t want to be their friend then bounce. If you DO want to be their friend then awesome. Friends are rad! Knock off the dating creeper attempts and move on with your life. Women don’t “put” men into…

If you really want to piss people off, say they're moving to Hartford. Implausible, but more fun.

I’m a Democrat, I’ve done this.

Man, we talked SO MUCH shit about Scalia.

Jingles are terrible? Hot kinja deadspin take, sport!

This is just like the time when I broke my hand playing Golden Tee, while drunk at a bar. I eventually recovered physically, but the mental scars remained. Can’t tell you how many times I was asked to play. But I just couldn’t.

I don’t think it was in bad taste at all and I lost quite a few family members to the Holocaust. A lot of Jews hear the same rhetoric from Trump that our forebears heard from Hitler and it scares the shit out of us.

i LOVE Joey Bats, even though I’m a Pirates fan. And his bat flip last year was amazing. But yeah, he deserved this one. I don’t get why guys think potentially saving 1 of 27 outs is worth ending someone’s season or worse.

Completely honest - agreed. Dude thrives on this stuff, and he got his shit kicked in. How can you not like Joey Bats?

I like Jose Bautista quite a bit, but apparently I like him getting punched in the face even more.

Not all sports. NBA referees, for example, are not blind. They’re just all on the take or betting on the game.

strangulation is an especially serious form of domestic violence and a major risk factor for homicide. being a victim of non-fatal strangulation increases the risk of being a murder victim by 7 times.

Let’s get Bartolo into the Home Run Derby. Make it happen, Baseball.

Similarly, this is also good evidence for anyone who would like to make the argument that baseball should not be considered a sport. I don’t agree with that argument, but if this doesn’t prove it, nothing does.

Legendary call by Gary Cohen and Ron Darling dying in the background is the icing on the cake.

I DEMAND THE RETURN OF THE BARTOLO COLON-O-METER

This is really, reeeeally funny.

John Kasich is that guy one step above you on the corporate ladder who seems like a good mentor so you go out for drinks with him one day after work and he lays out his theory on ‘the blacks’ until you pretend your wife just called with a baby emergency.

Kasich is like that guy at work who seems like a reasonable human being when you meet him, but then later you find out he’s some weird masochism fetishist who likes being stung in the balls by jellyfish.

Moral of the story? Never go to the UES.