go for “happy chanukah,” even if you’re not Jewish it’ll confuse them.

I’ve mentioned this before but my mother always taught me if you say “happy holidays” to someone and they get snippy with you, the correct response is: “oh, I’m sorry. I misspoke. What I meant to say was go fuck yourself.”

citation needed (he still hasn’t released his long form transcript & diploma).

probably thought it was penn state.

If you have questions about the school, let me know. I was only there for undergrad but I have a lot of friends in the various grad programs.

This entire comment thread is why I love the internet.

Don’t forget Pete Seeger & Springsteen.

This sounds like a job for the insane clown posse.

Anyone who was actually “hoping” for an upset (beyond like... yeah ok if it happened it’d be possibly a good thing with many consequences but it’s not going to happen so whatever) is so out of touch with reality they probably voted for Jill Stein.

her daddy told her if she didn’t stay in school she’d end up working the pole.

does Zika count?

My brother’s wife is due next month... I have already pledged to buy whatever the noisiest toy of the year is every year.

CUMb is the Columbia Football of Marching Bands.

Pretty sure it’s spelled “CUNY Harlem”

It actually is pretty normal. Just usually they’re better about not being so freaking obvious.

yup. Slimmer than American Football players, more teeth than Hockey players, less padding than either so you can actually see what they look like, more proportional than (most) basketball players or swimmers or track stars... and fit enough to run for 90 min.

+ Dolly.

there’s only like 5,000 Jews in the entire state... and somehow that is a much larger community than I would have expected.

Montana is like 90% white and 7% Native American. We clearly leave them alone, so why the fuck won’t they leave us alone?

Montana is like 90% white and 7% Native American. WHY THE FUCK DO THEY EVEN CARE ABOUT THE REST OF US.