Sting-rays?

Too much Quick; not enough turtle.

If you fail to deliver the pizza in 30 minutes or less, are you docked pay?

LION'S SUK! GO BAERS!!!!!!

Hey Raysism, wanna buy a +1?

I'm assuming this is an early sign of the coming zombie apocalypse, but to each their own.

Can we still nounce Mila Kunis?

She could always sell cosmetics from a pink Cadillac.

Sal Paolantonio, the Bashar al-Assad of NFL reporters.

Kinda got a little lazy here.

Granite block naming opportunities now available for your donation to the athletic fund!

Getting out of Cleveland will make him a star faster. Good on ya, Norv!

"They were cookies! I don't even eat fruit"

Fred Phelps: Not GLAAD.

When I was 5 I asked my Grandpa why do I need to make my bed every morning? His reply, "Why do you need to wipe your ass every time you shit?"

Yes. I mean, I'm aware of it now.

All fun and games until global thermonuclear war breaks out.

You'd think he wouldn't be so obscure- he's a pretty substantial guy, he plays for the Giants, they have an enormous following, and he's had a considerable career.

I have a mild addiction to chips. So one thing I’ve done that has worked well is replacing crispy chips with a healthier alternative that is also crispy–like a cucumber or bell pepper. Granted, a cucumber may not offer the same explosion of flavor as chips, but after I’ve eaten it, I feel better and more full, curbing…