Wielding gloves (elbow length) next time!

Spot test for allergies!

That's a fair point.

The college prospect is a cool wrinkle. I'll be forwarding that to my league-mates. Thanks!

Yes! I use FFToolbox because they will generate weekly rankings throughout the season based on custom scoring formats. Very handy and FREE.

Look at the scoring system for your league before you fill in your spreadsheet! And by 'look' I mean 'memorize and exploit.' I would move Drew Brees up from the 2nd-3rd to the first in a 6 point passing TD league. In keeper leagues, I'll be taking young guys who haven't necessarily proven themselves over reliable,…

Ignore bye weeks. Frankly, if every guy you draft has the same bye you would be better off taking the L for that week and having a full roster for the remainder of the season.

Compilation of the awkward "Collar Pull Gesture" from the Simpsons

Then we can sit across from each other and pretend the basket of cheddar biscuits is the Berlin Wall of the Cold War of our relationship. Every time we remove a delicious, salty, cheesy brick it is just as quickly replaced; ensuring a continuation of tensions and increasing the likelihood of needing a doggy bag.

They suspended him two preseason games? No shit? Really kinda of separated from reality to feel like this was a relevant inclusion to his punishment.

Whenever I see that guy's name, I think of these dudes:

He was stylin' and profilin' in the 80s, now he's death defyin' IN his 80s.

Kyle the pager carrying Raider fan: Physician or drug dealer? YOU BE THE JUDGE!

So what you're trying to say is that I'm always right and anyone that disagrees with me is my mortal enemy?

I get the feeling that things just go Rob's way.

Bayless felt that Tebow is an upgrade over most QBs, and performs well-enough under pressure that it was appropriate to rename the "choke 'n stroke" to the more adulatory "phix 'n clutch."

I've been turned down for a job because I have too many degrees. I've learned that the reasons given by employers for passing over a candidate are largely bullshit.

I love the daily stop-and-go of the Westside Highway in NYC; being serenaded by the screeching of a thousand yellow and livery cabs' overworn rotors. It's a symphony of neglect.

You are the only one. Enjoy your solitude.