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.... I miss my mommy.

No lie, this is actually my favorite series on Jezebel that I read religiously. No, no sarcasm or shade. #Truth

HUGH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

LOL THAT JUST MEANS YOU'RE LAME

I think it's racism and classism (high brow vs. low). Vogue has featured way less deserving people in the past and no one threw a similar tantrum.

Proof that J-Law is basic as fuck: she choose pizza bagels instead of the far superior pepperoni pizza Hot Pocket.

Hey, Pound Puppies RULED.

I'd curtsy if I met her. Like Max did on 2 Broke Girls.

I'd kiss Martha's teal covered ring if given half a chance.

I love this question, it makes me think positively which I need!

Hey, don't feel guilty if you don't want to date somebody with children. If you're looking for a particular kind of partner to engage in a particular kind of lifestyle with you, and kids would make that difficult, then that's just how it is. You want what you want. You do have to be upfront about that, but you don't…

Only dated one dad, never met the kids, but as the child of a single parent...let him dictate when you meet them. He'll know when is right for his kids, so dont push it too early or put it off if he is ready. Unless you arent really ready, which probably means the whole endeavor isnt right for you at the moment. Also,…

You know, Jezebel turned into an all Otter-focused website so gradually I barely even noticed the change.

For those with short attention spans:

Seriously. This was largely unintelligible.

I tried my best but could not read anything. Calm the fuck down.

Get. A. Room.

I would watch six seasons and a movie of that dog. <3