Have you hit anyone recently?

So for about $10,000 you got 9-1/2 years of truck. That’s not really too bad.

A BMW badge?

“Oh hey, here’s a police chase. Let’s narrate it like some bros judging a wet t-shirt contest in Cancun on spring break. Oh wait. What is this? Could it possibly be one of the likely outcomes of a police chase? TOO FAR. Sorry folks. Didn’t expect real life to happen so quickly!”

Was the windshield tinted black?

Once shots were fired, however, the station quickly cut to Rudy Giuliani at a conference.

This is disgusting. I can’t believe in the desperate search for mid-day ratings, a network TV station would air such garbage. I hope more people get angry about this, ugh, Rudy Giuliani, what a waste.

Better yet, take his keys away Jesus.

Las Vegas, Reno, Atlantic City...this is what happens when America doesn’t take teaching Math to kids seriously.

“You guys are heroes”

Also, they’re beads.

So much for the Americano Dream...

I think god loves us a latte but sometimes he has to espresso his anger with us.

This was part of God’s grande plan.

I guess God was just venti his anger!

Oh this dude is “gluten-sensitive” for sure.

This dude sounds insufferable. I hope he steps on Legos every morning.

With as retarded of a list of wants as he has, this is the only suitable option.

Really?

No, that’s Nissan. And Lexus. And Toyota. And Honda.