Frankly I wish Watergate never happened so journalists would actually be forced to put effort into making scandals.

Maybe you should be aware of the rules of a game you are payed to write about?

I was the only person in Philadelphia who thought the Chip Kelly rigmarole was going to be really, really bad for the team. Since I am clearly Cassandra reborn, what else should I prophecy that no one will heed?

You don’t know much about edible plants, huh.

A field guide to edible plants in your area. Your food supply is suddenly hundreds of times more calories than any of the other survivors.

I would be amazed if a 2nd century bc Greek philosopher even knew what China was no matter how big its walls were.

I ate the Book of John after Tim Tebow won a playoff game because I lost a bet.

And the Eagles have gone 3 and out in less than a minute multiple times last year

It’s fucked that she cited emotional damage, but the sperm bank did mix up who inseminated her. That’s really not a good thing.

That’s really cool and all but it’s still a much, much worse logo

Ok seriously I really like this segment but twitter embeds haven’t worked on gawkermedia sites for like a month now and it’s pretty annoying. It’s across computers, browsers, hell, even my phone. What is going on?

So do embedded tweets not load for anyone else on like... all of gawker? On different computers, os’s, browsers, networks. It’s just a bunch of grey boxes you linked.

At my maternal grandmother’s funeral everything went fine, I didn’t know her at all so I mostly kept my 11 year old self quiet and polite while everyone else cried. It was pretty normal, except a pretty weird part where they put two bet stubs for Smarty Jones on her casket because she liked horse racing so much. At…

Hey yeah scientists constantly prove themselves wrong, but that doesn’t mean your argument based on an analogy between an infinitesimal point of infinite mass and gravity and a door is in any way correct or relevant.

hey something tells me that its more logically consistant for snooki’s husband to have an ashley madison account than it is for one of the premier avatars of the quiverfull radical right christian movement to have one. i cant put my finger on what it is hmmmmm i really have a hard time thinking things through......

As a Phillies fan, I’m actually liking the Mets this year (that one guy with a PA license plate that read METSFAN who was going 30 on a 45 that I was stuck behind for 15 minutes notwithstanding) and I actually felt bad for winning the series.

They really don’t want us forgetting about the start button

In two thousand years Grand High Daily Show Host Telbrix IV (the daily show having become a religion through years of mythologizing and storytelling) will say, “Jon Stewart was short! Short short short short!”

Oh man I got Kinda’d ;-; the one time I think I’m witty enough to reply right away too

haha it sure is ridiculous that flutists would march into battle with musketeers what a bizarrely stupid concept haha lol