old man yells at cloud

My dad wants to donate his body to science and have an "As Irish As Possible" funeral, meaning a 6 drink minimum.

I heard a variant on this stupid opinion that actually made some sort of sense today, "if you let them age and gain experience for 5 years, they'd be a competitive nba team with the same roster"

This is going to be the best Colts team to lose to New England in the past 10 years, possibly ever.

IT'S LIT FROM BEHIND THERES A GIANT LIGHT THATS SO BRIGHT IT'S LITERALLY #FFFFFF RIGHT FUCKING THERE DUDE THIS ISN'T A MYSTERY WHOEVER TOOK THE PICTURE FUCKING WAS LOOKING AT A GODDAMNED SPOTLIGHT

Well, this is my goal now

I am aware it's not embarrassing, it was 6 years ago and by now I'm in way too deep. I have friends who have told me deep dark secrets and we depend on each other for support but I still keep it a complete secret. I doubt I'll ever even have a relationship, no matter how much I want one. Too much shit in my past and…

I convinced around 35+ people that I have had an active sex life since high school although I was and still am a virgin because the anxiety of having to admit that and the trashing another guy got for being a virgin at my college was so fucking terrible I couldn't say anything and no I am so deep into it it severely…

You are aware the reason why we're the only species that can digest lactose is because we domesticated cattle and drank it? We evolved to take advantage of a food source. What are you fucking on, dude?

Oh the shot of the Waste Management logo next to hundreds of beer cups

Most states give out vaccines for free because they are so vital to public health, additionally the anti-vaccination movement is most popular among white upper classes in California who could easily afford hundred of vaccinations.

This is equivalent to saying "I'm not touching you". Thanks for being "that guy", that guy.

Any% refers directly to using any methods possible to reach the end state of the game. What are you talking about.

Every antidepressant I've ever taken has made me into a raging boner machine. And when you're 15 and then you have chemically induced horniness, Jesus fucking Christ. And being forced to jerk off at least twice before school so you aren't staining your underwear is just as much fun as not having any orgasms at all.

That's uhh... what they're doing?

I love how midwesterners brag about how much snow they deal with and how no one else can handle it, but they clearly and obviously cannot.

If anyone goes with the incredibly pedantic definition of "valuable" then you might as well call it the Best Quarterback of the Year Award. The value in terms of wins provided by a quarterback compared to literally the other ten offensive positions combined is still higher. Even on really bad teams with a mediocre QB,…

It's a shitty, sexist movie quote

Probably not the best idea to go with the girls comment when one of the schools is involved in the coverup of a premeditated violent gang rape.

Any words written will detract from this. It's so fucking obvious but white people can't see it.