I'm gonna be "that guy" that points out to "that guy" that the Cavalry doesn't carry swords. That is a sabre. A sabre has a curved blade and is use for slicing in a downwards motion from above while mounted. A sword is used mainly for thrusting. Ground soldiers had swords, cavalry soldiers (officers) had sabres.

Thanks for giving me a goal in life! I've eaten at least 28 of these that I know of. Time to get to work...

What's worse than having childhood cancer? Having choldhood cancer and being used as a ratings ploy to get people watch a shitty Thursday night game.

"The trip consisted of the (charter) bus driver allowing the music to play very loudly, dancing in the aisles, strobe lights flashing iPhones to reflect the club-like atmosphere,"

I always thought it cool that the Shiner Beer logo is also the High School football logo.

The three and out joke was better.

Lache Seastrunk. He was a better college player than Michael Sam and was drafted higher. Sometimes you're just not a good fit in the NFL. Michael Sam needs to keep developing his game. So does Lache Seastrunk.

Can we please get some fountain lady updates?

Are there any readers that work for the California Highway Patrol and look pretty sweet riding motorcycles and fighting crime? Email us: CHiPs@deadspin.com

I know right. That and dancing have got to go...

SAN ANTONIO! WHY IS THERE NO SAN ANTONIO TEAM!!!

To be fair, JJ Watt was in that ass all day long.

Actual translation: "I'm a billionaire. That's why I pay other people millions of dollars. To do the things that I just don't want to do."

I see your point, but I think it's not out of the realm of possibilities to believe that the NFL is just straight up lying. If the NFL had the tape, which they had access to through Ray Rice's lawyer, I would assume that they actually watched it when they were doing their disciplinary phase of the investigation. He…

2015

I seriously wonder what his wife has to say about this.

Texas does have the only openly gay Mayor of a major city. And they freaking love Annise Parker. She won in a landslide in the 2013 election.

You've never been to Austin, have you?

As a Case Keenum fan, I wholly disagree. Manziel was a much better college QB. He ain't a pro QB, but he was an all-time great at the college level. He was definitely unique.