Chris Pratt, skilled in the ways of the Kuleshov Effect.

Here’s another one: Waters’ movie theater PSA telling attendees not to smoke in the auditorium, while deeply enjoying a cigarette himself. The Charles in Baltimore used to run this all the time. Timeless

Someone who chars hundred-dollar bills over an open flame, I guess?

I LOVE YOU, JOHN WATERS!!!!!!! 143637 JOHN WATERS!!!!!!!

When I was a teen we were too disillusioned and jaded to mess around with any of this nonsense. We did it right, we sat around in the food court of the mall, smoked cigarettes, occasionally shoplifted CD’s, and gave nasty looks to all the “consumers” that dared to gaze in our direction.

I’m assuming that they managed to survey Dante somehow.

Policing and soldiering ain’t the same thing. The real Bunny Colvin, if he ever existed, retired from the Baltimore PD a long time ago.

Prospects on any dating site are grim. I’ve given up.

I've found the best part about living alone is that you never have to hear your roommate having sex. I was always jealous =(

Nevermind that, keep it clean for yourself. Man, having your own place and having it clean is great feeling and makes it much nicer to sit in and do nothing but watch TV.

It belongs in a museum!

Am I the only person still buying CDs? :(

I met my wife on POF. I had both good and bad experiences. What I find odd, is you meet a swath of people you would not normally meet. In your personal circles, you tend to befriend people somewhat like you. They then do the same thing. So you do get some separation the further out you go, but not nearly as jarring as…

The older you get the more tedious and terrible meeting strange new people for the purpose of dating seems to get. You begin to wonder if all the sane and non-terrible people already got together and why you were left out. Are you not sane as well as terrible? Eventually you'll run into enough crazies and terrible…

Thank you for reminding me of my decades old crush on Daisy Fuentes.

This is literally the best thing associated with this awful, garbage song.

I must respectfully disagree with one set of assertions here: there ARE soul mates, time DOES NOT heal all wounds, and often finding other fish in the sea is a difficult proposition.

the real heroes are internet commenters who are always here to remind us how much everyone sucks