I can’t count how many times I’ve done that same thing watching the Dolphins.

Hmm...that’s a good question. Persian is one cat language I don’t know. Or would it be Fursi? (I’ll show myself out)

Uhhh, excuse the fuck out of me, but I look goddamn fantastic in a maxi dress. You can pry them from my cold dead hands.

I’m pregnant now and am very grateful for maxi dresses. Bonus— don’t have to shave my legs!

He is everything.

The best part will be how other moms judge you for eating it even if doctors say it's totally fine.

"How could you let that guy in the building?" - Assistant Manager, Red Lobster

"The second law of thermodynamics basically is the more ways something can happen, the more likely it is to happen."

Vote: Weather Underground

+†

I thought about making a similar comment, but then realized a shitty football team losing a shitty game to another shitty football team isn't really as important as a woman being sexually assaulted.

More than half of America and definitely more than half of the world think you're dead wrong when it comes to slavery. It's sad you're so unaware of how arrogant you look by proclaiming all slavery is bad and does not work, because you have "studies" to back your claim. Sorry, you're convincing NOBODY with your…

Not to mention, I'm an adult and reread Harry Potter every year so...

Ray Lewis: There is no comparison of me and Ray Rice. I'm far more similar to Aaron Hernandez.

Nintendo, you're doing multiplatform wrong.

Al Dente's Peak

At worst they ran blush. Mayyyybe mascara.