Hrmmm...that restaurant is about 45 mins away from me....I think I'll need to stop by and leave a nice ass tip

"I'm confident when the evidence comes it will show that my client was justified and acted as a reasonable person would who was in fear for his life," Wafer's attorney told the Detroit News.

"Who was the 7th female president?"

"Why does my neighborhood have so many affordable reproductive health clinics?"

Do men ever get women shouting at them to show their schlongs?

Is it me, or does Effie Barbie sort of look like Little Orphan Annie crossed with Bernadette Peters in this shot?

The baddest bitch in Fern Gully.

She would what? WHAT WOULD SHE DO?! I have to know!

THAT MAKES NO SENSE. That makes NO sense. Did the GUN think she was an intruder? Either the gun (whoopsie!) fired all by itself, or you PANICKED and FIRED and fucking FAILED to call the authorities.
I can't believe this requires review. Let's go, wrongful death claim.

The most shocking part of this story is Incognito having a rudimentary understanding of fractions.

Geez, talk about an offensive lineman, amirite?!?!

This book is the best. My friend recommended it to me a couple of years ago and I pass it on to all my friends with daughters.

Ugh. GOP, don't you have a few other things that could use your attention right now?

Doesn't he need extra money for the pray-the-gay-away therapy or whatever?

A pun within in a pun is the perfect pen name for Mr. Twain/Clemens. Just perfect.

Thank you, Laura Beck, you angel of lovingness for bringing in kittehs on a night when I need them dearly.

He would break down raw chicken barehanded, with a greasy rag underneath the cutting board. Once someone needed to speak with him in the front of house and he used the chicken gut towel to wipe the sweat off his face.

Some experts are skeptical — believing that the majority of handprints were made by adolescent boys