These are the actions of an abuser. Here’s how: Abuse is about manipulation of power and control. Here he is, being a “concerned” parent to show up at school to pick up his kids, even though, based on what is being reported, he should not. He’s trying to publicly show that he is a responsible parent. It situations…

Man, imagine doing cocaine at the speed of sound.

Can this be published before 9am on a Saturday so people can plan on what they want to watch?

Would they rename the team Force Canada then?

That’s because she’s always getting rear ended.

And yet some will insist they’re not really Nazis...

Aww, let him have his fun. Nobody goes to see a Phillies game to see baseball played “the right way,” or even the “professionally competent way.”

He’s not crying over the ball. He’s crying because he just realized his Dad is a failure, a loser. He’ll never look at the world the same way again. Just like my son did the first time he found me passed out, naked and drunk on the front lawn. Welcome to the real world kid.

Oh...that's it? Did he have an invisible hatchet or something?

I'd care a hell of a lot more if this wasn't the most fun and exciting team in the entire NHL. Nate MacKinnon is the real fucking deal, and the whole team can fly. Seriously, watch them if you haven't had a chance.

And yet we still don't have a system to properly call balls and strikes, so Ángel Hernández and Joe West are still employed. Oh. Joy.

Jean-Eric Vergne also said that Kimi and Alonso are a ticking time bomb. Apparently he has had a very talkative week. If you drove F1 cars with your mouth, he might actually be a decent driver.

Pictured: has one more World Series ring than the entire Deadspin staff combined.