Cheech + WWJD + Fred Durst + Vanilla Ice = this a-hole

It's a shame that the Girls Next Door have so publicly sullied the previously unassailable image of Hugh's cartoon-like, wallet-fuck trifecta that was so carefully cultivated by their predecessors ... Sandy, Mandy and Brande

Let me guess ... I bet Holly had to assume a wide variety of demeaning positions at the Playboy Mansion in order to obtain her official position at the photo department for Playboy Magazine ...

Boy, if that shot is off target, you've got a real possibility of "double blind" testing ...

@magneticfields:

In other news, Jes from Rock of Love has moved to Melbourne and is joining the Navy ...

Poor Britney, she is going through a awful year, which is shaping up like the internet paparazzi jpegs of her omnipresent caboose going "commando" in an ill-fitting sundress ... truly an anus horribilis ...

Jes is in the final phase of Operation "Detached, Innocuous Gen-Y Punk Rock Phony Passes Under Radar only to Snag Washed-Up, Extension Friendly Frontman for Hair Band at the Last Episode"

Southwest ... you are now free to move about the country in sensible khakis, trainers and a 90s corporate blue buttondown ...

Reading a current edition of Playboy is kind of like trying to navigate an Iraqi minefield ... at any point, and without warning, you could run into an article by Bridget about taking Wednesday to get his hair cut or a pictorial featuring Verne Troyer as "Mini Hef" ... hit either of those, and you're finished ...

Di commonerz di!

I seem to recall the vast weight of the medical literature on the subject of Unspecified Ex Porn Star Wasting Disease concludes that the stage before death is "dating Paulie Shore" ...

I was looking for Lindsay Lohan post and then I found a Lindsay Lohan post, and heaven knows I'm miserable now ...

Gee Suzy, if you were just gonna marry a rich dude, why bother with that whole Exeter, Harvard undergrad and MBA nonsense ... seems kind of silly ...

Nothing makes me want to rush out and throw down for a [QSOL.com] Service Appliance more than the prospect of a creepily detached head of a smug top model refusing to fellate me ...

It looks like it's back to the good ole' days ... and by good ole' days I mean flopping around in the back, upstairs bedroom of your suburban McMansion, wallowing in your own debris of speedballs, Gin Fizzes, crude crack pipes fashioned out of diet Dr. Pepper cans, bags of Ranch flavored Doritos and a noticeably…

Well, there was a junk food part, but I also seem to recall a "blowing off the infants to snort booger sugar at the Ghost Bar, flash your muff, cut off all your hair and end up sobbing in a padded cell in the fetal position" part that seemed not so great either ...

No, men aren't that interested (ahem, speaking on behalf of all men) because there is double D sized silicone portion of gratuitous f'wit with a fanci schmanci sounding diploma, Bridget,crying all the time and ruining her mascara because "it's not fair" that the other girls got more pictures in Playboy than she did…

Sure it's going to be like the Brady Bunch, but with a new episode where a special guest rapper comes on the show, shags Jan and then pees on her ...

It's too bad someone can't make a really good thing happen at jail using only Kathy Hilton, thin bedsheets and an exposed pipe ...