This is the moment in the movie that I have been munchin' popcorn with fake butter and drinkin' supersized souvenir cups of Mountain Dew waiting for ... when the alien opens up and the head of the real Amy Winhouse who disappeared a number of years ago emerges from the alien's sweaty underarm ...

The Ministry of Silly Walks Pant™

Good work Mike with the cynical God reference ... I am pretty sure that Jesus wouldn't douse pit bulls in buckets of water and then electrocute them for losing illicit dog fights ...

Many people in the video can't come up with answers because ... that would entail actually thinking ...

Boy, if I hear any more Gap news, I'm gonna have to take a whole handful of The Boyfriend Valium™ . . .

If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone who wears The Boyfriend Trouser™ to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody who wears The Boyfriend Trouser™ to the moon.

Kim Kardashian in Playboy . . . boy if there was ever a more appropriate Playboy issue to read while, on the can, droppin' the kids off at the pool, I'd like to know about it . . .

If I see another lame Gap advertising campaign attempting to push more goddamn khakis in 2007, I am going to reach down my throat with a pair of the boyfriend trousers and vomit up a pile of the pocket tee, the dress shirt, the shirt dress (how cute!) and the khaki pant . . .

I'm pretty sure that this blog identified "home schooled tennis players" as the biggest idiots ever . . . still sure about that?

Wow, the only way I could simulate the public money shot that Whoopi left on Perez would be to go into photoshop, move down the tools list past "booger sugar simulator" to the "ejaculate emulator" tool and go wild on Perez's silly orange hairdon't . . . wait a minute, I think someone has done that before . . .

I was always annoyed by the phrase "you get two weeks off" when, in reality, it was really only 10 working days. 10 working days does not equal 2 weeks because 2 weeks is 14 days . . . that's right, I'm not gonna take it anymore goddammit . . . I'm gonna stand up to The Man™ right now . . . what? . . . you say…

Gee Anne . . . I really mistook you for a modern-day Mother Teresa (except a lot hotter of course) in 3 1/2 inch Giuseppe Zanotti Silk Pumps until I found out that you and ole' Raffaelo had been misappropriating funds that were supposed to do the work of The Lord and spent them on trips in the Gulfstream IV, private…

"Sure everyone knows that Eddie is a total A-Hole and that he is a big fan of homeless pre-op trannie whores, but I'm sure he'll do the right thing and take his fair responsibility for the baby." Scary Spice, May 24, 2007

"As we've mentioned before, no athletes in sports are dumber than home-"schooled" tennis players."

"Sure I like vaginas, who doesn't? but you know, I think they would feel and look much better if I injected them with some of that crap that goes into Jello . . ." Dr. David Matlock circa 2005

Michelle is pumpin' out lil' tater tots like they were . . . well . . . lil' tater tots for her family's Tater Tot Casserole . . .

@SharonTaint:

Great news!!!! We all know that what depressed women who pound Wellbutrin tablets like they were Fruit Loops really need is an unwanted pregnancy . . . oh wait a minute . . .

Gee Bobby, you mean "dating" as in "casually f'ing a line of leftover 80s groupies with low self-esteem longer than one of those monster rails that Bobby and Whitney used to slice up in their tacky McMansion outside of Atlanta while their 11 year-old daughter was downstairs watching re-runs of Kim Possible"?

Hey Baron . . . classy move . . . at least no one saw you cheap shot daughter with cancer guy, human interest story of perseverance under trying times, Derek Fisher . . . oh wait, that's right, everyone saw it