Babies aren’t fashion accessories. Do not bring them everywhere you go. It’s unprofessional and unnecessary. I say this as a (former) full-time working parent. My kids are grown now.

I take serious issue with this whole ‘Brooklyn’ thing. I am OG Brooklyn. I was born there, my parents were both born there. I’m from a part of Brooklyn that’s not now, never was and never will be hip by any definition.

You haven’t been here much, have you?

See?

Bitch, please.

Does he realize we can hear him when he talks?

• Brandi Glanville has no idea whether or not she was fired from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Massholes.

I’ve actually been in this Burbank Costco. It was around Christmas. The first rule of Costco is don’t go to Costco at Christmas.

Hush yo’ mouth. You speak sacrilege.

HIPPA only applies to health care providers. So if a regular person somehow found out about one of these hypocrites having an abortion, they’d be free to discuss it. In public.

Is Stefan guest-blogging for Bobby this week?

Team Nobody.

What’s a complete mind-boggler to me is that this fucker is running to be POTUS, the Chief Executive of the US, and he hasn’t a clue about how the law actually works. Does he even understand that he must take an oath to uphold and defend the Constitution? All of it? Not just the bits he happens to agree with?

Never, ever screw with people who prepare your food.

Speaking as a Jew who lost family in the real Holocaust and who has an arm tattoo in their honor, I saw this to Kim Davis and her lawyer: Shut your damn face. Take my name out your mouth. How dare you trivialize the deaths of 6 million people to justify your bigotry?

These are ALWAYS funny, but I straight up died at this one.

Life has a way of working out.

It was a small town, small school. There were fewer than 250 in my graduating class. Not only was I a National Merit Scholar, I also graduated first in the class (although that was a few years afterwards). Didn’t matter. She knew I wanted in NHS and she did everything she could to make sure I didn’t get the…

Not lately, but I grew up in a small town in Western PA and there was plenty of it. I was a National Merit Scholar and desperately wanted to be in the NHS. The faculty advisor was a big old Jew hater and wouldn’t allow it. She was also the English teacher and taught The Merchant of Venice every year, even though it’s…