It’s the only Buick.

She’s missing a leg. You should see that nub wiggle when she has an itch.

“Bisciotti folded like a bitch.”

I forgot the details but wasn’t the rumor was that Harbaugh would have been fine with Kaepernick playing QB years ago if not for Baltimore’s flag-humping owner blocking it.

Can we stop with the whole real animals as college mascots thing?

“All I wanted was to have some speed and have fun.”

“Thanks to mom and dad and my tarantula and god bless the Hong Kong freedom figh-”

You know who just wanted to have some speed and have fun? Adolph Hitler, that’s who.

“Whether or not to have a child is a complicated and morally questionable decision that each person must weigh carefully.” - Kelsey McKinney

Let people dislike people liking things.

Michael Jordan wore a Hitler mustache in a Hanes commercial.

Daryl Morey, notedly averse to information

Meh...

Germans would not allow a fly to be on the wall.

What a byzantine way of saying the rookie is going to have a lot of powerful dunks this season.

At this rate, the only thing that can stop Zion is a pro-Hong Kong tweet!

Will this catch someone urinating on a model 3? Asking for a friend.

It’s not so much that “there is no catch,” or “you can never control the ball” so much as “the distinction between catch and non-catch, or between receiver and ball for that matter, are meaningless and deluded.”

Eastern philosophers made peace with metaphysical vagueness long before anybody in the West learned to wipe their ass.

How many grains of sand are needed to make a heap? There is no heap. All duality is a delusion.

I’m still pissed that Parmenides marked Zeno down at the half-yard line in 435 BC. Replay would have fixed that.