Ha! As is, mine enter the room before I do.

We all want what we don't have- isn't it always the case? :)

Yeah, they're out there, but I doubt there are "tons" of women who genuinely want a partner with whom they are not sexually compatible. But point taken!

Gah- I'm actually hoping for a little deflation if/when I ever breastfeed. I have accepted that they are already ridiculously huge- down dog is a suffocation hazard- it will only get worse when the milk comes in, and that for the majority of women, they stay bigger, but a gal can dream, can't she?

I want a wife and family, I want to multiply and raise and love my family that I create.

Ed Norton would be perfect!

You'll always be Forrest Gump

Aw, man... shit just got real... real messy, because I snorted coffee out my nose and onto my keyboard.

Imagine, Mr. Rogers as played by...

Is that a fish... eating an apple?

Are you sure you aren't remembering an episode of King of the Hill? Because this is to hilarious for real life.

oooOOOooo... I love MadLibs!

There's a difference between "boyishly naive" and "knows, but doesn't really care because if it doesn't effect him directly, tralalalalala!" I feel GW falls into the latter category.

They call me... Sparkle Twat.

I know, I'm all over this post, but I just had to pop in and say... this is not a Broadway theatre. He's literally rented a studio above an Adult Video store, next to Port Authority. http://www.yelp.com/biz/roy-arias-…

Yes- based on the venue, he literally rented this space. It's not a Broadway theatre, it's a studio located near Broadway, above an Adult Video store, next to Port Authority. So basically, the most appropriate venue in the world!

Wait... Wait... So I went to his site because I just HAD to know which O-Bway venue would be willing to tank their reputation to put up this garbage and... you guys, when I saw where it was, I almost fell on the floor laughing. This space is a joke. It's literally next to Port Authority above an Adult Video store. …

I was just thinking this- my ballet instructor had a cane, too! It's like they come standard issue when you decide to open a studio.

The Jaw! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets irrational about it!

She's an authentic Bad Ass.