Just today, I got off work at 3:00 PM, starving because I rarely eat while working, and needed lunch. I drive right past the campus of the University of Texas on my way home, and that means fast food chain after fast food chain. And I (very guiltily) pulled into Chick-Fil-A, ordered the 4 strip meal with two…

I was on a register at the cafe I worked at one night. I’m in the middle of taking the order for a husband, wife, and their kid. The guy is in the middle of giving me his order when all of a sudden a girl that couldn’t have been older than four walks up right next to him, shoves a dollar bill up in the air, and says…

Between these bullshit stories and BCO columns, how do you not have a rage stroke almost daily, Pinkham? Part of me is just so thankful I got out of food service and these things are not personally happening to me. The other part of me wants to inflict serious vigilante pain on these assholes.

Does anyone know if spice is the same as K2? We’ve had dozens and dozens of people hospitalized after using K2 here in Austin. Haven’t heard if it makes them psycho, though.

My friend was working expo at our cafe one day. She had just finished mincing parsley for garnishing and set it under a heat lamp to dry out a bit so it wouldn’t be wet and clumpy. She usually set it on the back expo table, behind her and actually in the kitchen, but the bulb in the heat lamp needed to be replaced, so…

A friend of mine hosted a “wine party” a few years back. I had another friend in town visiting, so she tagged along with me. We are by no means wine connoisseurs by any stretch of the imagination, but we both brought a bottle of something we liked: a nice malbec for her and a lovely vinho verde for me.

Raisinets in popcorn are the bomb diggity.

Not that this is disgusting-weird, but just “how the fuck did you come up with that?” weird, my ex’s father would not put syrup on pancakes or waffles. He would just slather them with Welch’s grape jelly. There was always a jar in their refrigerator.

They’ve also gotten on Yelp to call out people who leave bad reviews, especially when they’re complaining about something that had a bunch of substitutions made. I stopped and talked to the cook one day and he is a very unapologetic man. I thoroughly enjoyed him.

welp, he sure has a type, doesn’t he?

How and why does Fred Armisen keep getting together with my favorites? Elisabeth Moss AND Natasha Lyonne???

Mother fucking Texas. I’ve lived here for all of my 30 years, and I swear we’re not all that bad. (Although, this school district and Ahmed’s are both near Dallas, which is the den of Satan.)

That’s exactly the way to do it. I used to date the GM of a pretty upscale nightclub. I could go in with a group of 10 people and get VIP service all night, all comped. But I always, without fail, tipped the bartenders $10 on every drink, and made sure anyone in my group did, too. We were getting the best service…

exactly.

My life, exactly.

what. the. fuck?

“PUT IT IN YOUR CUP HOLDER.”

My favorite part of that whole thing is when he says “I’m not picky so you don’t have to shake it or anything.” Oh, not picky, huh?

Thanks, Pinkham. You’ve got me all fired up for Kids Eat Free Monday at the grocery store cafe. I’m already feeling a little rage-y, and might lose my job when an entitled parent yells at me for not giving them free steamed broccoli and grilled chicken because our kids’ menu has too many carbs. Or when someone lets…

I just got home from my twice-monthly meeting with my counselor, whom I started seeing right after I broke up with my ex. That break-up happened in 2009. I've long since moved past all of that, but continue going to therapy because it feels so damn good. Honestly, I think everyone should go to therapy of some kind. We…