Driving would be a lot more fun if it were optional.

However, in a league that takes itself far too seriously, it's the New York FOOTBALL Giants (I swear to God, the word FOOTBALL is included in the team's official email signature) who take themselves the most seriously.

Well, the fact that you're such a prick is neither my fault nor my problem. I tell you what. How about you take one of these jobs, which pay $2.13/hr. plus tips (the utter ridiculousness of which puts you at the mercy of pricks like you), and see how you do. And don't you even bring up this "they knew what they…

A little less weight, and it'll be just like Pepsi or any of 100 other companies with their flavor-of-the-month logos.

They won't make the one-game playoff with 81-81.

Seriously, for nine large, one might expect not to see visible flaws in the finish. That said, hate the ground effects, hate the wheels, hate the roll cage, hate hate hate. CP.

I guess Clooney's mom got her license to cut hair from a box of Cheerios.

I bet his mom cut his hair. So did mine, except my mom was a licensed hairdresser.

And sex with women.

Too cerebral?

Is it on Netflix?

But THEIR kids will outnumber yours at the ballot box. Scary, huh?

And the Church has pretty much admitted fairly recently that Galileo was right.

I wonder if the dollar theaters are affected by this. That would really be a shame.

We saw Green Day a few years ago from the really cheap seats. No problem, at least at our venue. We had an awesome time.

1. Hell yeah.

I thought the studios forbade the theaters from honoring these passes, at least for the first week or two. That's good to know.

What about trips? Right now, the Jersey Shore is on sale. The only people at the beach are families with pre-school age children and babies, and retired people. The weather is still very favorable for whatever beach activities you desire. You ought to get accommodations for a song, and parking is no problem. …

Except that:

I'm waiting for the story where the Bleacher Bum runs across two sections of bleachers to catch a Marlins home run ball on the fly, then throws it back well enough to reach second base.