@Walk Off HBP: ITS RHETORICAL, YOU DICKS!!!

If that little motherfucker turns up banging on my door at 4 am begging for another juice box, I'm calling Tiny Nolan Ryan to come get him.

@Tulos_Mullet: I feel much less alone now.

Hey it gets me half a stalk, so what do I care, but when your kids are of the age that their classmates will likely tell them their mother dresses like a whore, I'd consider toning it down a smidge.

@Always Winning: Man, I can't wait to get Hannah Storm out on a boat with me. I mean once you get her there, she would never say no, because of THE IMPLICATION.

"Then do something, pussy."

Good thing he's on that syzurp. I don't think Soul Coughing is his style.

Good thing Bruce Pearl and family are the only known Jews in Tennessee.

Well that does it right there. Later, Deadspin, I'm going to quit my job and throw bricks through a few windows.

"I hear ya man."

@David Hume: Use plenty of compound and take your time.

@WhoDoYouKnowHere: like "are we going to win another national championship this year, coach?"

I couldn't watch Burnett pitch to Josh Hamilton without thinking there's no way those two hadn't done meth together at some point in time.

@Charles Bronson Smile: "I sat in some gum, if you want to see a picture, I'll text you"

@AzureTexan: But you admit its a problem. We need those jeerbs.

Too many Latinos. They took our jobs.

Anti-Union sentiment. The MLBPA is whats wrong with the country. Guaranteed contracts for guys that specialize in pitching to left handers? Come on, you lazy bastards.

"In fairness, Freeman and Campbell are light-skinned and no matter what I said, I always thought of Donovan as a bit of an Uncle Tom, so lets go ahead and declare a new crusade against Black Head Coaches."

@MarkKelsosMigraine: Any and all dong pictures of Juan Lucky Pierre were taken after an extremely cold swim.

@Armen Tamzarian: Not to mention next time you go to town it doesn't feel like "Mexico's Finest" has been all up in there already.