Yes. I have taken so many dumps in the woods.

I was just coming here to be like FUUUUUUUUUUU IPSY!

Yeah, I mean, however deplorable you think someone’s lifestyle is (whether they are poly or actually cheating), it’s not cool to air their dirty laundry. What happened to just hacking your cheating partner’s email, like the good old days?

It’s an emoji sad/horrified face. Turn your head to the right.

DDDDDDDD:

Fuck buckets, for real.

Pretty well, yes, it’s an IM app on phones.

One of my best girlfriend’s weddings, god love her, was approximately one month later than my official separation from my own husband (god, don’t love him.) When I told her we were getting divorced, she cried. I had to comfort her and assure her yes, I was still okay being in the wedding.

“Why do you ask?” is such a powerful question in these circumstances.

Aimee Concepcion

As a childless female whose friends all have babies, we just miss you and your crazy stories. Unfortunately, baby stuff is never going to be interesting to us. I really struggle to relate to my friends with babies sometimes even though I love them to death, because I’m like yes your child is adorable but I have my…

It’s like not owning a TV, you are legally obligated to inform anyone you meet within the first 30 seconds of conversation.

I see your pregnancy test and raise you Plan B. If there were a cream named “Disfigured Anus Fixer Upper!” I would be more chill purchasing that than I was during my shamefaced pharmaceutical shlep.

I once, hilariously, ruined a male coworker’s day because I dropped a tampon on the ground. Before he really realized what it was he picked it up and handed it to me all “Oh you dropped this...”

“Thanks,” I chirped, as I took the (o.b., no applicator, just plastic-wrapped bit o’ cotton) from his frozen hand. The look…

Never go full white.

I am only five minutes faster than a 90 year old woman. I’m 27. Fuck.

I had the same reaction. If she doesn’t stop swinging him then it can’t be true. :(

“Please bring me the 100% all beef wieners.”

It’s the “I’m on poppers!” emoji. (Jezebel analyzed this a while back and I can’t unsee it.)

Oh, your mom loved you so much, honey. All the tears, forever.