DadJokes are BestJokes.

the calm casual comments while upside down after an interstate rollover brought to you today by seatbelts.

“that actually wasn’t the worse thing in the world”

Bitch-in Camero

Your detailed knowledge of dildos is impressive.

Holy shit. That was fucking bananas.

the end of the email.

That’s almost kinda impressive. Not sure I could flip a car given the same circumstances.

We here at Cyberdyne would like to reassure the public that this incident is well within our control. The T-100 self driving vehicle prototype performed within acceptable parameters, and we are working with Volvo corporation to terminate any errors that may be present in it’s programming.

I vote we wait until we can get printers to work reliably and work up from there.

Works 60% of the time, everytime!

Volvo did nothing wrong here. Cars come with options. Options cost money. I can’t NOT get the sunroof option on a car and then expect to stick my hand through the roof of the car. This car didn’t have the feature that prevents hitting pedestrians. The owner should have known that. Sure, Volvo could make that feature…

“Eventually, fully autonomous cars won’t let this sort of thing happen.”

This is the issue of the garden and the bean. You want a garden, but you don’t want to waste the limited beans you have to grow one. Except that if you plant more than one bean, you can have an even bigger garden. Develop the IDX platform. Do it. You’re hesitating because you don’t have a platform to use. What’s the…

Oh glorious chrome! Saw the movie last night and it should be called “ Gasoline Orgasm”

The only thing missing is Gawker publishing all the names and addresses of motorcycle owners.

I quit everyone, goodbye forever

It could have been worse.

dirty diapers stuffed in McDonalds bags alongside half eaten cheeseburgers in the trunk