Well you see, they're Final Fantasy characters, but ranked.

At worst they ran blush. Mayyyybe mascara.

I had fun.

Seriously, just blow the whole fucking thing up.

I usually have Mike & Mike on as background noise while getting ready for work. Some days I have to turn it off because the sports industry brown-nosing and the bullshit meter goes off the charts. Today was one of those days.

Elton John: Don't worry, Michael, it gets bett-

All Super Bowl prop bets are bad bets.

I hate every NFL owner.

"Those aren't thugs! They're goons!"

“When you're good at something, you'll tell everyone. When you're great at something, they'll tell you.”
― Walter Payton

that is all.

It's pretty appropriate, since the Pats won't survive if they don't find a way to stop the White Welker.

My favorite aunt, Julie . . .

Holy shit. My entire perception of Dan Le Batard just changed in an instant.

What a great performance by LeBatard, but his Deadspin HOF candidacy is tainted by the era in which he works at ESPN.

Thanks for doing this Dan.

The enforced secrecy is due to the fact that the UTEP players won't be charged as adults.

I've seen her top somewhere before...

I don't see any reason to drag the husband into all of this.

I love it when people just straight up own their decisions instead of blaming alcohol. This woman dove at an entire group of people after being restrained, kicked wildly at some person's head, and just said, "No, I wasn't drunk. This is the kind of decision I make when I'm stone sober, and, yes, I'm not ashamed and…