Not a chance that Hammond and Mr. Slow stay without Clarkson.

I have joyfully sung about Golden Showers, Jesus' lack of friends and whole hands, supporting hookers, Yogi Bear, how we could be masturbating.... I can't say that it indicated any intention to actually work in Chicago at a department store, hate on Jesus, or touch myself while someone was chugging a beer.

When I was in high school in the early 80s (yes, I'm that old), I went to the same gym as a lot of the Marquette players. Because I was 6'2 and slightly more athletic than the 30-something middle managers who made up most of the gym's membership, I often drew the task of guarding Doc Rivers. And for the most part, I…

Wait, I totally have another.

Have You Been Dunked?

Riley Cooper now has one less teammate he will fight

1. Dudes and Ladies, don't try to fight anyone. You're grown ups.

(Most of the) QBs Andre Johnson had during his career:
David Carr
Tony Banks
Dave Ragone
Matt Schaub
Sage Rosenfels
TJ Yates
Case Keenum
Ryan Fitzpatrick
Tom Savage

That is a fucking travesty. Andre Johnson put all-time great numbers with those guys throwing him the ball. We all saw what Larry Fitzgerald did with a couple years…

"Your role will be reduced next season, in favor of... uh... fuck, Damaris Johnson? I guess?"

Mostly odd because fights in Worcester normally see the guy named Khan being beat up by the pasty white guy.

They got no respect for any rules in that place

The stunning thing is the majority of Jalopnik staffers went to the University of Texas and some still live in this state.

No worries Trent, your career still has life...

Something I heard back in high school: The antenna/mast/rigging of the nuclear-powered ships are gray, and the conventional ones are black. Here's why: The ships with conventional engines would soot up their antennae, and look shabby, so they just painted them black so it wouldn't show. The nuclear-powered ships…

A better statement would be Officers rule.

To cap off training, half the entire brigade was scheduled to do an air assault from Campbell to Knox to hit the MOUT site there in the dark. Brief was birds would come in, shut down, everyone does a cold load, and lift off at 0200. Birds were to be on the LZ 0100. As a mortar, the only people in the brigade on the…

let's outfit the original USS Constitution with lasers and recommission it.

You can pack like 12 dudes and gear into a UH-60.

...You magnificent bastard, I read your book!

Antoinette Bannister: 1.4 PPG, 0.7 RPG, 18.9% APR.