Why do you need to know what everyone is reading?

Why is there a picture of Don Rickles in a wig accompanying this article?

...it sounds ridiculous that only "one person" had contact with her since she became infected.

I pee in the shower all the time. Just never when I'm in it.

No, that silver lining does not exist. If the asshole even thinks just one person is affected by his actions, it's motivation enough. He's desperate for attention and almost certainly lacks any other preferable way of getting it, like being talented or accomplished or funny or friendly. This is likely all he has.…

Ugh. It's so painful listening to someone force themselves to sound pained.

Reading the Stephen Collins excerpts earlier, I wondered why Alexander Chan didn't mention Collins' book about kidnapping and raping a narcoleptic woman. Hopefully we've reached peak pervert; I'm having difficulty keeping them all separate.

Fun, somewhat related fact: the previous Pope's parents met through a singles' ad. (It basically said "man looking for virgin slave girl.")

It's hard to think—to know—that there are people in this country who would watch that beautiful proposal and be filled only with hate. Like this guy, who is willing to toss aside the popular faux-concern for "the sanctity of marriage" and take away everyone's right to marriage to stop gay marriage. He's throwing a…

Although the videos for my (quite uncommon) name are lackluster, this does make up just slightly for never being able to find a "personalized" keychain or mug at truck stop gift shops.

The LETTUCE KNIFE.

And yet:

Hello and welcome to the internet, where it may be tempting to call complete strangers "idiots" over what you perceive is an error. This is your prerogative. Be warned, however, that doing so will make you look doubly stupid when what you think is an error is, in fact, part of the point.

That clip is amazing. I grew up with the Huxtables (never noticing any feminist message, but hopefully absorbing it with my little 8-year-old sponge-brain), and have surely seen every episode more than once. What strikes me, other than the newly apparent (to me) feminist angle, is that it is still really funny. I had…

Delicious? Very few women, even with the latest mods, can taste through their uterus. It's probably for the best.

I think these look good because she didn't just photoshop them. She seems to have taken pictures specifically to fit into each image. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that she spent a lot of money on this and worked with a photographer in a studio setting.

Due to consumer preference the majority of our toothpastes will be microbead-free by March of 2015.

I kind of like it, too, in theory. But I think we both know the reality is that it will be full of creepy creepsters just creepin' around. Not everyone, of course, but I'm not confident about the odds.

(ETA: sorry for the length. I like to write, and this is an interesting subject to me.)

I mean really, really touchy.