Of course women giving something up for you is “nice”.

This isn’t a factor for men, though.

So, two men’s names get passed on, and no women’s names. Cool cool cool

This is frustrating because, yet again, it’s women’s names who are disposable. If you both decided not to hyphenate because of “confusion” that would make sense, but nah, this is just patriarchy.

Actually, anything that puts women on equal footing with men is good.

People can make their own choices rather than just men’s names defaulting because it’s too hard to consider women’s names.

I get shit about it regularly from Booth’s family and my own family. Fuck it.

Be non-apologetic in your feminism. I see so many different women say that they had bad relationships with their fathers, and their husband’s name is so much easier to spell, and what about the children, and, my personal favorite “we’re a team!”

Feminism is not about “choice”. THANK YOU.

Keep your name, and hyphenate the baby’s. It’s silly that women do all the work of growing a kid and then slap a man’s name on it.

Yep. My mother is a borderline, so our relationship is fraught, to put it mildly. I haven’t spoken to her in years.

I had the same upbringing, and I feel tremendous guilt wanting things.

So, if you want insight into their mindset, check out the BPD subreddit. I obviously can’t diagnose the bunny-boiler here, but her actions are like those of people with severe, untreated BPD.

For what it’s worth, I’m going to push back on the idea that you should feel bad for both of them. She’s an adult, and she knows what she’s doing is outside the realm of normal behavior, she just doesn’t care to get treatment.

It sounds like you dodged a bullet. Responding in any fashion would just feed her need for attention from you.

“Mental health checks” aren’t really a thing unless someone is endangering themselves or others. Acting unhinged isn’t actionable.

Any reason? This sort of extreme “Fatal Attraction” style behavior is classic BPD.

I once pissed off an old lady on a plane because she apparently had planned on just chatting up her seatmates on our four-hour flight, and didn’t bother to bring a book or tablet. She started mindlessly chattering as soon as she sat down, and was honestly SHOCKED when I pulled out a tablet and fired up a movie. She…

I can’t snark on her using her wealth as a force of good.

She should never have served a day in prison for killing her pimp. Period. She was a child crime victim, and should have been treated as such.