I'd be into it if there is an extremely strong fan on me and my cheeks are doing slow-motion GLAAABBBBBLLLLAAAAABBBBRRRRRGGHHAAAAABBBB

Many things freak me out about Joe Francis, obviously, but my current overriding concern is that his teeth are all completely identical. WHERE ARE YOUR INCISORS, MOTHERFUCKER?

I think I'm starting to appreciate Taylor Swift in a non-ironic way. The video of her watching Miley Cyrus is glorious:

Cher Ami on Wikipedia

people in Russia are maybe confused about the way zombies act.

Can Oprah give this man a show already? Or can Lifetime cast Richard in all their movies? Or can he and Honey Boo Boo make a work out video? Seriously, I'd be happy with any of those things.

Not defending her, but given her alcoholism, maybe a better statement would have been "I only remember doing it 10-15 times"

I feel like, if Hooters is telling you you're being too creepy and sexist, you need to seriously question your life choices.

Could it have been a matter of time if it took no time at all? A question for the ages!

or even a country at all! Pisses me off thinking how gainfully employed he is and how broke and desperate so many of us who have some sense of discerning our ass from our elbow are right now #smh!

It was only a matter of time before the douche jokes started. Tehe.

Somebody point out to Donny Douchebag that Al Qaeda is not a country we negotiation with across a table.

I wish a woman would sit down to negotiate something with Donny Douche, and get it done with bullets.

Welcome to the over 30 Mohawk club.

LOL? You poor soul. This card is for you, too.