Shit engineering is not a virtue. Alfas can be amazing despite that, but sometimes it’s okay not to take what you hear on Top Gear and repeat it as gospel. I hope this car isn’t as half-baked and non-competitive as it could end up being, because I really want to see Alfa succeed here. I’m just not holding my breath.

Hey, it’s kinda got a little shark-nose going on!!!

I’m really happy I read “.. 20” dark aluminum rims, black running boards, smoked headlamps...” as 20” donk aluminum rims.

Pretty sure Doug is on Carmax’s Christmas card list at this point. He’s a single-handed PR machine!

A compass to direct me to future hoof jobs. I hear they’re the shit.

It’s like if the Pope was a hipster!

One aspires to do more in life to move out of the situation the led them to owning the car.

This looks disappointing. In fact, it resembles the edging I just planted in my garden.

You are clearly the best man for the job. Thanks for being there, doing the hard work!

I clearly chose the wrong profession...

Are you gonna go with Neal Pollack and give it your best Hunter Thompson?

No, not in this town for some unknown reason. Though I may drop-kick some of the octogenarians working behind the counter.

Pretty sure commies never made Kei cars, but troops are cool.

Sadly, I’ve never made it in and out of the post office in less than 20 minutes. I seriously had to make this decision last week dropping off a prepaid package, because the postal clerks here won’t let you just drop a paid parcel on an empty counter.

I must be one dumb and uncultured American, because I sure the hell don’t know anything about dental costs in Switzerland.

That one detail totally completes the package for me. You probably have the most jealous neighbors in Austin considering what’s rotating out of your driveway lately.

Stunning, and I must say I’m completely jealous of your ability to own that beautiful car. It has to mean so much more to you as an owner of so many awesome Alfas.

You’re like Andy Rooney’s entertaining grandson.

Just needs more quadrifoglio verde

Living in Michigan, these are now the standard cars given out along with Medicare at 65. Honestly, these seemed to replace the CrownVic/Gran Marquis as old people carrier.