Momentum in football doesn't exist. You are wrong, and less in control of your life than you thought. EXISTENTIAL CRISIS!

This is the correct fish fry opinion.

It's really nice being able to breathe a sigh of relief every time I read one of these LA stories that the Bills ownership situation was resolved without any LA-threats.

No idea how this happened but congratulations on being on Google News:

I know one thing that's clearly missing from my life is endless farming

Knock it off Ennis! Shit like that isn't gonna get us Connor McDavid!

He's 92, the bartender girl was probably gonna knock him out then steal his credit cards.

That's badass. You got a cool dad.

I think they were saying "Boo-urns"

Noooooooo

The Paul MacLean twin is much creepier. Fake Andy Reid is funnier.

As long as you do the freezer thing first and slice it really thin flank steak still makes a great and not too tough stir fry!

LOL it's funny because he's dead!

what

Sometimes I find myself liking things and that's why I keep a hammer on me at all times so I can smash my dick with it to drive the good feelings away

Yes "people" do it for the money. The original post was about "anybody good" not warm bodies cashing paychecks like zombie Mike Shanahan and possible serial killer Jason Garrett.

A kid at work that graduated from college last year has one on his desk. There must be smartphone apps that are capable of doing 1,000x more, how are they still a thing? If I ever have to do a remotely complex (as in more than adding or subtracting numbers with more than 2 digits) I fire up an excel worksheet.

People who break out the "I'd do anything for a million dollars!!!!!!! Beats my job at McDonald's!!!!!!!!!!" take when someone raises a question like this are the worst.

Nobody in Deadspin comments unless they are secretly an NFL caliber coach is going to be offered that money so that means exactly nothing. A good NFL coach with a promising career could easily decide that the damage to their reputation and career that might come from coaching a team crippled by Jerry Jones ego would…

You aren't a good NFL coach who would have multiple opportunities with other NFL teams not involving Jerry Jones. No good NFL coaches want to work for 1 year then retire and live in a trailer park playing video games for the rest of their lives like you apparently aspire to.