Technically, youth players who haven’t signed a contract are free to leave at almost any time. That’s true in Mexico, but the clubs have agreed not to take players from each other. Outside the US, clubs who lose a youth player usually get Training Compensation under FIFA rules.

Weird Al is already in talks...

Like tears in the rain...

The Internet will never forget.

Best move? Own it. Roll with it. She should sponsor a popular brand of portable grill, kick in endorsements, the whole shebang, a la George Foreman. Call it “Ariana Grillde” or something just as silly. Watch it sell like hotcakes.

Fortunately tattoos on your palm aren’t exactly forever. You use that part of your body with such frequency that the tattoo, especially one with such fine line work, should become a smudge of its former self in no time. So it’s meaning will be lost over time. 

I swear, I’ll never understand why people get something tattooed on themselves in a language they don’t speak, or understand.

Classic self burn.

Im interested in every puppy interview

Or... Hello kids, I am Khabib Nurmagomedov. You may remember me from such educational films as “Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun” and “Firecrackers: The Silent Killer”  But today I’m here to talk about Bullying!  

Fuck that.

Best assignment since Cosentino’s interview. 

See, now, this is the kind of hard-hitting, behind-the-scenes reporting that I expect and love from Deadspin! Kudos to you, Dan, for serving out this tough assignment.

Trying to interview puppies is barking up the wrong tree.

It’s fascinating to me how we try to rationalize jealousy. We hate the Patriots because they’re robotic. We hate the Yankees because they’re the Evil Empire. We hate the Cardinals because they “play the right way.” We hate the Warriors because their fans are “tech bros.”

I just watch the Puppy Bowl for the commercials…

Still a better interview than Bill Belichick.

Enough about McQuade—you have to keep watching until the puppies appear onscreen.

It’s good with the sound off and the closed captioning on. Here’s a partial transcript:

I’m here so I won’t get neutered.