Not in Texas. Not with grackles.

It’s a little bit sad when you realize “Reno 911" featured some of the most responsible police work in the United States.

It’s a little bit sad when you realize “Reno 911" featured some of the most responsible police work in the United States.

Let’s not overlook how both of them tried to ditch the other at the first chance they got. He shoved her into the cop initially and tried to run out the door; she moonwalked right past him being arrested to attempt her Spider-Man gambit. 

Hear me out: Instead of paying the numerous billions of dollars and euros in fines for Dieselgate, what if VW would build a street legal version of the ID-R and sell it at the price of a Passat. Of course they’d lose a ton of money because building a Passat is probably way, way cheaper than building a Pikes Peak…

Giuliani probably thinks you need to wear a condom to ensure you don’t contract VPN.

Yeah, he’s in the same category for me as Bill Murray - the “Celebs That People Love But Are Actual Dickweeds In Real Life And I Can’t Understand Why Folks Like Them” category. Or, to make things easier, CTPLBAADIRLAICUWFLT.

Lebron needs to sign with Golden State, thus completing the NBA’s transition to the truest form of basketball league: The Harlem Globetrotters and 29 Washington Generals teams.

I earn my brown stripes through poor diet and too much booze.

Why *should* it be Valve’s responsibility to decide what people are not allowed to play?

Jason, you tread a dark path.

Emmitt Smith: So that’s why they call it an “oldbitchuary.”

In that moment, LeBron fully transformed into “Dad watching their kid finally get a hit, then start running towards 3rd base” The perfect blend of horror, anger, and sadness.

Iron Man (LeBron) almost had Thanos’s glove off, and Star Lord (J.R.) had to come in and screw it all up. The following massacre is all his fault.

The 2018 Cavs in a nutshell

As Smokey Robinson sang in The Tears of a Clown:

My cat possesses the ability to block an entire lane of household traffic with his Floofiness.

I’m gonna be totally honest here. I’m 27 years old. If I’m going to a grocery store solo, I’mma be cart serfing. Not not because of the LULZ, but because it’s actually an efficient and enjoyable way to move.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It’s included, but I think you have to play a few rounds to unlock it.

It’s included, but I think you have to play a few rounds to unlock it.