It sucks that I can kind of understand what they're saying. Breaks the illusion.

As if the world needed another reason to hate Chelsea fans.

Never Forget

Defense: "And that object could have been anything. It could've been an iPad. It could've been an iPhone. It could've been a remote. Anything."

Accomplice: Ok Aaron, in and out, no evidence. We hit the target, and leave.

"I backed it up on Matt Stafford....get on my level cunts"

I don't get to use this often.

This explains everything.

"Meh." /Le Shrug

So you missed the sarcasm, and then went and did that annoying Ronaldo-Messi comparison thing? Excellent work.

Slide into your DMs like

Fool me once, shame on you.

Max Maxwell? These parents are really getting lax with their creativity.

Dear Watt, I wrote you but you still ain't calling

Jesus. Is Chappelle getting to be as good at predicting shit now as The Onion?

I'm partial to "Goddamnit, Donald!" myself.

Coach Whisenhunt: Sweep the leg.