this is my neighbor's cat, Brewsky. he is the friendliest cat ever and he has one double (triple?) paw that makes him look like he's wearing a catcher's mitt, i die.

Is there going to be a Jezzie ghost/scary true story thread soon in honor of Halloween? I look forward to it every year!

Admission: When I was young and poor, I temped for a large company that had free tampons and pads in all the restrooms. I basically shoved as many as I could grab into my pockets every single time I went to the bathroom. Temp job only lasted 6 weeks—tampons lasted 6 months.

What?! No "I'm sorry you were offended."?! Taking accountability? *gasp*

I hate puns that aren't really puns at all like "hair-spiration." Why?

This is the only book I have on my coffee table and it is a winner EVERY. TIME.

She's been labeled a bit of one, seeing as she's criticized Justin Bieber for not providing "a real depiction of what it's like to be a young person,"

Don't get me wrong, I love Gaga something fierce, but this whole insistence on Jeff Koons and "artpop" makes me feel like she's a college student that just finished a 200-level modern art history class and now won't shut up about it. You know, like she's the first person to ever discover postmodernism or something.

Almost certainly. The dual anonymity, the location of the auction, and the size indicate it's almost certainly someone (warlord) converting stone to cash, and someone else (Russian or Saudi would be my guess, although maybe Chinese) converting cash to more portable currency.

Oh how lovely to see you on here! I plan on buying the pink one and having it made into a tiara. We should have a tea party. My dog is currently in possession of a 12 carat sapphire tiara, so if you bring your pets please make sure they also have adequate diamond headwear. I would hate for them to feel left out.

Fuck, I was just getting ready to sell some shares and pick this up.

That's not how you spell "chode."

We live in a country where one of the justices in the highest court it is possible to have believes that there is a magic evil man running around the world and doing evil things to people with his evil magic powers.

This is a real thing that is true about the United States.

The Cowboys have been supporting a boob for YEARS now. Looking right at you, Tony!

On Lena Dunham, who apparently "...only dresses up as a giant baby when she is playing a fictional character," I present exhibit A:

I am staff here on lock down. We are okay.

Ugh, I actively try to forget about Kreayshawn's existence...

Poor Amanda Bynes's mom. All the best to that family.