True story: My high school class was a full of cynical little shits. We were awarded the "No Spirit" trophy homecoming week the beginning of freshman year and decided to ride it through until our graduation. Our section of the bleachers remained seated and silent through our class' segment of the school cheer every…

Another case of Obama being charged with "Presidenting While Black"

We set my son's wheelchair up as a rolling duck blind, and went as Uncle Si and Willie.

In my life the only catcalls I've ever had are things like "ugly c*nt!" "Who let the dogs out?" "Aren't Asian chicks meant to be hot?" "Why do hot girls always have an ugly friend?" etc. Except for one time in my early 20s. I was wearing a borrowed designer label cocktail dress, and a beautician friend had done a pro…

I had a really great day at work today and on my way to the train, I stopped and bought a fancy $4 cupcake (pumpkin latte!). After getting off the train, I saw a homeless man and since I didn't have any cash, I gave it to him. I know it was nice of me to do that, but like, I really want that cupcake right now :/

Also good is mashed rutabagas and carrots.

AHEM.

I know it's late and everyone's asleep and nobody's typing anymore but I just had my first date in 2 years and it was AWESOME and then my first kiss in five years and it was AWESOME TOO! None of this makes sense and its not typed well because I'm excited and too wired to sleep and we're seeing each other again…

My boyfriend of 5 years just moved out of our house. I keep calling it my "not divorce" from my "not marriage" to help friends understand that this is more than a breakup. I just spent almost all day helping him, his mom and dad, his sister, and his best friend move all of his shit out of our house. And then my…

I'm having a hard time getting over my ex and being single. I would love to hear from other Jezzies that it'll be OK and I won't be stuck in stupid dating purgatory forever.

I worked in an office frequented by a semi-famous businessman (semi-famous enough to have his own Wikipedia page, anyway. He really thought he was something special.) He had several ex-wives and contentious relationships with all of them, and they joined together to torment him in the way that would offend him the…

Fake corporate twitter accounts are my reason for living

Dear Lord, I'm about to wet my pants. Favorite!

Boobs for Boobs: The Fox Nation Story.

+1 for sun drying towels!
I also add a cap full of eucalyptus oil along with the detergent, it's a disinfectant and it smells pretty.